The past week or so has been a funny week in my head. A buzz of happiness has surrounded it (the reason for which I will not disclose) but, whilst being amazing for the most part, has led to some awful lows.
I can't lie, I have felt the best I have felt for an awfully long period of time this week. Everyday life has been manageable with no spells of misery filling moments when I'm not mentally active. I have gone to bed at night not wishing to not wake up. Life, in itself, has been enough to keep me going, I haven't needed constantly picking up by the people around me, in fact some of them are slightly worried by my good mood.
However, all of this has come at a cost. The side effects of this buzz of happiness is that the genuine lows are now far more pronounced. Before they just blended in with the general feeling of awfulness, but now they stick out like a sore thumb, and make me want to lash back. I'm just afraid that I'll do something daft.
I have got used to emotional swings, but before there has at least been some emotional middle ground, but at the moment my head is either floating around on serotonin or in my hands in agony. This next month ahead could present a new set challenges, but I've promised many people that I'll keep fighting, and that is what I shall do.
After all; it'll be rate.
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